Conquering Procrastination!

Procrastination can be a serious problem. How many times have you waited until the last minute to work on a difficult project? You tell yourself that you thrive on the pressure. But, is that really why you wait so long?

There are many reasons why people procrastinate. Perhaps you think you have enough time to complete the project. Maybe you simply didn’t have a chance to do the project because of other commitments. Other reasons include poor time management and fear of failure.

Whatever the reasons, procrastination is not healthy. It affects your health, relationships, and can eve put your job in jeopardy. If you are a student, procrastination can lead to poor grades and may prevent you from reaching your overall potential.

You know something needs to be done, but may feel overwhelmed. Here are some suggestions that will help you conquer the procrastination habit.

Figure out why. Often analyzing why you chose to procrastinate, you can take the steps necessary to beat it. After you procrastinate a few things and then determine why, you may realize that there is a pattern or a connection between all the events. This is important information to understand because it will help lead to lasting changes.

Write the steps. Sometimes people procrastinate because a project or assignment looks overwhelming. If you find yourself in this situation, perhaps the task is too large and you may be procrastinating because you can’t figure out what you should be doing.

If this is a particular problem with you, write down all the steps that need to be completed so you can finish the project. This will give you a better idea of what you need to do.

Take action. Another tactic to help beat procrastination is to take action, no matter how small or insignificant it is. For example, if you have a project that requires you to read a lot of information, begin reading and taking notes as soon as you get the materials. Even if the action is small, this will help build momentum. Before you know it, the project will be completed well before the deadline.

Pass it on. Sometimes you may procrastinate a project or assignment because it doesn’t interest you or you may not have the expertise. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to pass the project along to someone else. Make sure you tell your boss before you do. If the project is important, people will want it completed in a high quality manner. If you don’t have the expertise, this can affect the outcome in a negative way.

Final thoughts. When it comes to procrastination, there are several different causes. To conquer it, first determine why you procrastinate. From there you can take measures to prevent it!

BY RODGER

Fear and The Fear of Fear

Fear and the Fear of Fear

These are your feelings and your reactions to your feelings.

What Causes Fear?

One of the most important things for folks who struggle with negative emotions to realize is that they may be caught in a vicious cycle that not only involves their initial negative feelings, but also involves negative feelings about those feelings, which creates a painful feedback loop and drives them toward anxiety or depressive disorders. I share here how that works, focusing on fear and anxiety.

We all know what it is like to be afraid of something. Perhaps it was when we were young and left alone at night or when we rode a roller coaster for the first time or when we had to give our first talk to a large audience--virtually every person has felt strong fear at some point in their lives. It is important to understand what fear is, as it is one of the most basic emotions we have. From an evolutionary viewpoint, the fear response is an absolutely necessary part of our mental system. It is the way we recognize and avoid threats. Fear links deeply to the experience of pain—it makes us anticipate that we might feel pain soon, and it orients us to escape and increase our distance from the feared stimulus.

Anxiety is a close cousin of fear. Where fear is more emotionally raw and “stimulus bound” (i.e., we fear the dark, or flying, or public speaking), anxiety is more “cognitive” (e.g., worrying), future-oriented, and can be diffuse (i.e., we can feel anxious but not really be sure about what). Nevertheless, they go together because at their root evolutionary function, both fear and anxiety are about identifying threats and avoiding them.

Although other animals like dogs can clearly experience both fear and anxiety, we humans have a reflective sense that makes emotions particularly complicated. The reason that it gets complicated is that our reflective self can have thoughts and feelings about our feelings.

Consider, for example, if you have a public speaking fear, which is one of the most common fears there is. So, there you are, the day before the big talk, imagining giving your talk in front of a rather large audience. The anxiety and fear begins to take hold. And then what? Your reflective self remembers how much your anxiety disrupted your last talk and gets frustrated and fearful that the public speaking anxiety will again interfere. So, now you have two problems. You have the fear. And the fear of the fear.

Clinical researchers have found that the fear of fear (or what is technically labeled “anxiety sensitivity” which is the anxious feelings folks have of being anxious or fearful or whatever) to be one of the most robust factors associated with anxiety disorders.

This means that one of the things to keep in mind if you struggle with cycles of negative emotions is understanding what the original fear or negative emotion is and sorting out how you feel about that emotion. For example, is it fear of public speaking or disappoinment about a loss or a shame from a painful critique?

Whatever the original feelings are, it is also crucial to be aware that your reflective self will likely have reactions to your feelings. That is, you might think it is weak to have such feelings or you might think there is something wrong with you or you might just wish they would go away because they suck or you might think other people would think less of you if they knew had such feelings, and on and on. Indeed, the clinician-researcher Leigh McCullough argued that one of the most common themes for folks who have emotional (and relational/identity) problems is that they develop an “affect phobia”—a fear of negative feelings. When folks develop this, they are very vulnerable to vicious negative emotional cycles, because not only is the primary affect system activated in a negative way, but the reflective system is cajoling, blaming, and trying to suppress those feelings. This means the whole system is tied up in knots and the original emotions cannot be processed in a healthy and adaptive way.

The bottom line is that it is often very useful to try to sort out what is going on by separating out what are the primary feelings and then articulating how you are thinking and feeling about those feelings.

Ultimately, many folks can unlearn their negative reactions to their feelings and learn to become more Curious, Accepting, Loving, and Motivated to learn and grow from their initial negative reactions (see here for what a CALM approach to negative feelings looks like).

About the Author

Gregg Henriques, Ph.D.

Gregg is a professor of psychology at James Madison University.

I LOVE MY MONDAYS

Can we talk?

Now i know that Life is a journey. We are all travelling inevitably towards our destination. We will either coast through life with no sense of direction or we will Coast off purpose and fulfilment. The race is on. Everyone's life is driven by something - guilt, worry or fear, insecurity, anger, resentment, past, possessions, etc.

 God wants you to be purpose driven and be  driven by His plan. His purpose for your life is for you to be successful and He is ready to take you these process. That's where meaning and significance come. When God planned you, He planned your purpose even before you were born. So in tying to realise your purpose in life, never let small people with small minds change your path from where God is taking you to.

 Years back at the #HOTR 2017 it's your time conference tagged #EMERGE...i learnt a few things and I'm ready to go through these process again!  A rebirth has taken place & it is a new mindset towards achieving purpose and fulfilments. So, In working towards purpose and life fulfilment, we must understand the following:  Seek wisdom...because wisdom is the principal thing that opens and unlocks the keys to favor with God and men. live a life of gratitude, love yourself and Pray always. Give God your all, change yourself, change your mindset, make your dreams happen and believe in yourself. Impact lives for positive reason, put a smile on someone's face and love your friends the way you love yourself...even if they hurt You, love them more and move on.

 Life is not all about money, but money is important...so if you cannot give money, give time and give what you can. Always keep a positive mindset and keep working on your goals to realise your goal. Be patient 'cos it will help you solve so many issues. Be kind always, because God will surely fix you and repay you for your kindness.  Give God your time and love God with your all! Do not allow any other time take over God's time in your life...He is the reason you are still alive...so keep walking your journey with Him.

Finally! Grow spiritually, know your worth and worth what you worth and nothing less! Laugh, love, grow and be successful! Have a very blessed week ahead and don't forget to connect with Your destiny helper and not the one that will reverse it..."I LOVE MY MONDAYS" #EMERGED!